Selective Outrage & Silenced Suffering: The Gender Bias in Violence
In a world screaming about male victimhood, why does violence against women still fail to ignite the same rage?
With the recent media coverage and outrage on social media on case of Raghu Suryavanshi, it makes me think - has the selective outrage getting too common? From Atul Subhash to Raja Raghuvanshi, men online have been thrashing women (ofcourse, it is justified by their crime), but there is silence when women are murdered by their husbands and in-laws? Ironically, the cases of women facing abuse and death at the hands of their husbands and in-laws far outweigh the number of deaths (or even abuse) men face from their wives and in-laws.
Getting numb around violence against women
Unfortunately, we have become so numb and accustomed to crime against women that there is barely any angry reaction against the perpetrators. With a new case every other day (while several don't even get reported), this has become a new normal 😢. Take any data from national agencies or NGOs, the statistics clearly show the lopsided violence women face on the daily basis. From physical assault, (marital) rape to murders, we live in fear every single day. While men usually fear gold-diggers and women taking away their money in the name of alimony (in a country where divorce isn't as common), women fear men in these aspects -
Getting their drinks (even water) spiked.
Sexual & physical assault.
Being murdered for whatever reason just cause the fragile male ego was hurt.
Online harrasment (name calling, photos inappropriately morphed, blackmailing over private pictures, etc).
Stalking
Trafficking
Wage gap
Cheated on and left behind, especially when they are pregnant or after childbirth.
We have stopped caring about women's safety and several men and women keep yelling “we don't need feminism anymore in the 21st century.” Well…
Murder, violence and marriages
Women have been at the receiving end of violence and murder from their husbands and in-laws since ages. Be it over a dowry, giving birth to a girl child, speaking up, not following the unsaid expectations, they have been brutally killed. If not killed, there is abuse of any kind- physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and financial. They are expected to perform unpaid labour without any appreciation, break or help from their family.
Unfortunately, even many women agree with women silently taking on the traditional roles without any help. She has to do the chores, cooking, give birth and take care of the baby and husband *may* help if he wants to. But she shouldn't expect it and voice her opinions. She has to go live with her husband and in-laws after marriage, and she is declared cruel if she wants to live seperately with husband alone. This shows how misogyny has been so internalized, even in Gen-Z girls.
Recently, Paris Paloma’s Labour (especially from time stamp 2:20) has gone viral, and it's lyrics resonate with every women out there, expressing the feminine rage.
Due to this, now women, including me, are saying no to getting married and having biological kids. We don't want to increase the chances of facing all the above-mentioned abuse as well as wreck our lives and careers over an insecure, violent man. As Amy March from Little Women stated that marriage is an economic proposition. After marriage, often, women aren't allowed to work. Childbirth restricts their career growth. Let us not forget the pink tax that women have to pay after the wage gap. The above list with these factors doesn't make marriage and childbirth seem worth it. Not just Korean women, but women from Japan, India, America or even Africa have been adopting the South Korea’s 4B movement (now informally extended to 7B). I really want it to spread worldwide too, to every small town & countryside and not just metropolitan cities. Unless the marriage becomes equal and real life cis-het men learn to be better human and husbands, women may continue to stay away from marriage.
Empathy, not a gendered competition
By no means this post promotes creating a competition between which gender kills another more, especially one’s own partner. It advocates for empathy for the victim of murder/violence and criticizing the selective outrage against women that is becoming so prevalent in society and social media. Even in news, I don't see much posts about women's safety or a case unless it becomes way worse than the previous case. Eg- After Nirbhaya case, the case from Hyderabad got attention and then RG Kar Kolkata case. Media doesn't bother to cover the rest of the case, especially when a person from upper socio-economic class is the perpetrator/accused and victim belongs to lower socio-economic strata.
Conclusion
What has been happening is wrong, sure. But we can't show outrage in selected cases while turning a blind eye towards thousand others. The rage and the criticism should be alike as we fight for the justice for the innocent victims.
Solid daring is needed to share such thoughts on women outrage. Need elaboration on 4B movement. Well done.